Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
