I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
