Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
