and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
