I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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