On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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