Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
