I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I have post one night stand depression
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