I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
