I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
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