just tell him i said nine months
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
