Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
