"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize