I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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