just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
