FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
