so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize