where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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