I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
