i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
