i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
