Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize