you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
