let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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