I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
