your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
