Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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