i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
