Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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