I'm really into asian looking animals
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
