Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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