I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
