My sheets look like a crime scene.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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