Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My vagina is very pro this idea
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
