My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
