I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
