Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
