rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
