I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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