singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
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