Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
