standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
