who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
