I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
50% drunk capacity currently
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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