hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
