I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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