Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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