dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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