people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
