Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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