You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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