Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
