how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
