I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
