This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
