My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
