So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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