you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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