Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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