I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
