The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize