mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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