Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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