Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
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