forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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